Could I be Pre-Diabetic??

Have been wondering why I have been feeling tired, blah and not being able to lose weight effectively.  Looked up the symptoms for Diabetes and I have a couple of the symptoms.   This scares me something awful.  My father died from Diabetic complications.  He lost his vision, and he had kidney transplants.    I didn’t know everything that was going on with him, but I do know that he often didn’t take care of himself and he died at a very early age.   Mid 40’s is way too early to die from a disease that if managed properly one can live for a very long time.   Now, I honestly don’t think I have Diabetes, but if I am going to see the doctor about this I want to go to his office armed with information.   J.R. was prediabetic and he has a meter that I can use to track my blood sugar results each day and I will document everything I eat and what time I eat it for at least a couple of weeks if not longer.   I am trying to modify my eating and mostly cutting back on breads, chips and sweets which seem to be my biggest downfall.  More veggies and leaner proteins.  All sweets will be sugar free/ fat free ones.   Also smaller portions and cutting back on alcohol consumption is going to help I am sure.   I have to lose weight.  I will not allow Diabetes to set in and take over my life.  I have seen too many diabetic family members not take care of themselves and having more and more health problems.   I don’t want those problems, I want to be around for the kids and J.R for a long time!!  

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7

Do dogs go to Heaven??

This is a question that has been in my head since we  put our wonderfully loving dog Sairy to sleep on Tuesday.

I know it is probably a weird question to some.   I guess it depends on what you believe right?   I honestly feel that we make connections with our pets.  There is some bond that happens, especially when they are in a stressed state and we try to help them to feel better.   Stroking them, playing with them, feeding them, etc....all the little things.  I really do believe that some dogs like humans are more intelligent than others.   I feel as if my dog was very intuitive.   She was so obedient, so loving, and just  a sweet animal.     I miss her a lot!!

Okay so why am I rambling on and on???   Well Tuesday evening I was having some pain in my back and I took a pain pill....(don't take these too much anymore but really needed to get some pain free sleep).   In the middle of the night I woke up to roll over and I swear I heard her bark just one time.   Just outside our bedroom window.   *she would bark just once when she was ready to come inside after going potty, or if she got caught on her lead outside*.   Then yesterday after work I came home to pick up the kids for our family counseling meeting.  They were all outside waiting on me.   I had to run in to pee so I was in the house alone, and I thought I heard her whine just once.   *she would make this high pitch whine noise just once if she was feeling lonely or if she wanted to go out*.   I know I am not nuts....I heard it.   But, could it just be my mind playing tricks on me??    Could she be comforting me from beyond?    
Who knew I could get so attached to a dog.   As I type this, just thinking about her makes me teary eyed.  Maybe someday I will be able to have that connection with another dog.   Not to replace Sweet Sairy, but to have the wonderful connection I had with Sairy.    She was MY dog, I was chosen by her that rainy night.
I miss you Sairy, I loved you so much.   Go chase bunnies and run in the green grass in heaven.   :)

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7

I'm baaaaaack!! (did anyone miss me?? )

I know that many of you who follow my blog are probably saying to yourself..."Oh here we go again!!, Melissa is on yet another diet".    You would be right, but I am not signing up for a program or restricting my life, well I guess I will be restricting, no maybe I will just call it "limiting".   ;)  

Anyway, let me back up some and catch everyone up since I have been terrible at posting my life's happenings on my blog at least.   Those of you who follow me on Facebook know what my day to day stuff has been like.   Last time I posted was 2 months ago.   Since then day to day has been pretty routine, kids are out of school now and they are not bored with summer yet....which in my mind is a great thing.   We have had some nasty weather days and the kids have really rallied and been quite pleasant for the most part considering they are stuck inside.   Ryan attended a basketball camp for 4 days just a week or so ago and he loved it.   :)   This makes me happy that he got moving and found out he really likes basketball.  He wants to sign up to play when that comes around during the school year.  
Elizabeth went to a "safety day" camp and learned about several kinds of safety, farm, home, personal, etc...She enjoyed it a lot.
Shelby is working almost everyday at Pizza Ranch.   As some of you know we have gone through some tough times with her this past year or so.  She is working hard and has her ups and downs but we are hopeful that we are instilling good values and teaching her to become a responsible adult.   I can't believe she will be 18 this December!!   Boy do I ever feel old!!!  

J.R. and I got engaged in April as well....We have even started making some plans for the wedding of our dreams.  One that honors our love but isn't all stuffy and rigid.   For those who are wondering, we haven't set a date yet.   But I will keep you posted on that as soon as we set one.  :)

Did I mention that I am working part time in a great shop in my town?   It is real fun and even though it is only a few hours 3 days a week, it gets me out of the house and a few extra dollars can't hurt right?  LOL

Now going back to that nasty four letter word I hate so much......DIET!!    As I said in the beginning of this post I am not going to diet anymore.   But...I do want to lose some weight.   Right now I feel tired and have pain almost all the time.   I am not sleeping well due to pain and I know that isn't helping my moods and my health.    So my goal over the summer is to get into a new routine of eating and making better choices.   I have to move more even though it hurts.   Every little bit has to help.   So I will try each day to do something.   My goal right now is to lose 50 lbs by my birthday in December!!   I think that is realistic don't you?    Getting down to the weight I was before I had Shelby is where I want to be for now, if I lose more then that is a BONUS!!    I have to do this for ME.....not for my kids, not for J.R.   He loves my curves and honestly so do I.   I have had curves my whole life.  I think I was born with them...LOL     But, my health and risks of serious disease is what keeps pushing me back into the dieting arena.  

So there is my life as of late in a nutshell so to speak.    I don't even know if anyone reads this but I hope someone does.    (kinda creepy just blogging to myself...LOL)