DISLIKES!!

I hope the title didn't scare anyone away.   I guess you could be led to believe that this is a negative post.  Well...I guess it kind of is in a way, but with a twist.  I am considering it a learning experience.
So far I have lost 9 lbs....so I am feeling better internally, but am still working on my outward comfort zone.  Like how I dress and what I wear.
Tonight we have tickets to a wonderful dinner/ show near and dear to our hearts.  Just Us Girls, is a group of local women who sing and put on shows.  They are all the most wonderful people and one of them is very special to us.  She is Elizabeth's teachers helper, and she is friends and former neighbor of JR's and I just lover her.  She is so kind and friendly and just the sweetest woman ever.   So you must be asking yourself, where does the way you dress come into play Mel?    Thanks for asking.   Over the past year JR has bought me some beautiful outfits.  Some still have the tags on them because we don't get dressed up too often and I don't get that dressed up for church on Sunday.   Anyway....The past several months we have just been doing casual things, jeans a nice top...etc.....but JR is wearing a suit and tie tonight.   So there is no way I am showing up on his arm with jeans a nice top.   So I tried on everything I have in the closet, Thank God it all fits okay.   I had Shelby take pictures of each outfit and I posted them on Facebook for my friends to critique.  LOL    I know crazy right?    But, I value the opinions of my true friends and I don't think they would steer me wrong.  

So, you are probably wondering why I titled it, Dislikes...well because I dislike how my body looks, I dislike trying on clothes, I dislike that I don't feel as confident as I want to.   But, like I said I am learning to love myself again, I am learning to figure out what looks good on my particular body, and I am learning to realize that I am special, in the eyes of my friends, family, kids and JR loves me just the way I am.   That is the biggest LIKE I have.   :)

9 lbs total so far!!

Felt pretty good to get on the scale this morning and see a loss.   Especially after going up 2 lbs.
So Start weight was 285,   my weight this morning was 276!!!   YAY  :)    only 36 more lbs to go till I reach my first goal of 240 lbs, which is the weight I was for most of my adult life.    I still need to measure and take some pictures, I do have measurements from when I was doing Weight Watchers, but I want to get fresh results since I had gained on WW.  :(  

So proud of my son!!!

My son is such a good kid.  He brought home awards today for superior achievement in ITBS testing and scoring in the 80%th percentile in the country!!    I just felt I had to brag on him a bit...I know I just don't brag enough on my kids and their achievements, I am always just complaining about their faults and shortcomings.

So here is a link to see my son's pictures in the classroom blog !!http://ebert5thgradeblog.blogspot.com/

I love you Ryan...Way to go buddy!!  Keep up the good work son!!

2 full weeks of Clean Eating...

Since I posted last it has been 2 full weeks of clean eating....and I have to say, WE love it!   Even the kids are liking what I am making, well for the most part anyway.  Shelby still doesn't understand why she can't eat twinkies and cheetos.   She has said that losing weight is all in her mind, and if she thinks before she goes to bed that she will lose weight, then she will get up in the morning and be lighter.   I am not sure it works like that...LOL    I will stick with putting healthy foods in my body for fuel to keep going all day long.  I am going to really start tracking my journey here so that I can have a record and have it all down in one place, not several different ones.   (which I tend to do quite often) LOL

Tonight I am going to measure and take before pics.   It has been kind of busy around here and when I think of it either JR isn't home to help me or we are just so wiped out that I don't feel like doing it.  
Tomorrow I meet with Amy (my physical therapist) at the YMCA to figure out some sort of workout program I can do and possibly tweak it a bit so I can do it at home instead of the gym.   I am hoping that maybe tomorrow or the next day we can get the treadmill and eliptical moved over to the other side of the basement so we can actually use them on a regular basis.   My plan is to get up and get it done each day before breakfast then I know it is done.   I know it will help with building muscle and losing the inches and pounds faster as well.  

So that is my plan.  I am going to post some menus also so I can track that part as well.
So far I have lost 7 lbs and I feel better, definitely have more energy, just gotta get the food a bit tighter and portions are probably bigger than I should be having.  But I think if I were to give my CLEAN eating a percentage, I honestly think we are about 95% clean.   Which is pretty good compared to where we were, and I think about the only not so clean items are salad dressings, miracle whip (but we don't overuse either items so not too bad in my honest opinion).

Spring is here and it is nice to not have to contend with snow and slush anymore, let's hope we don't have any more of it.  
I have to start planning and shopping for EASTER too....going to try to make it a CLEAN Easter!!!   Let's hope anyway!!  

Hopeful for answers!!

Spring can't get here fast enough in my opinion.   Today the temps are warmer but it is now raining and snow mixed with rain is in the forecast over the next week.   I am anxious for warmer, sunnier days.   But before those days get here I have been doing some research on "Eating Clean".   Yes I know what you are saying, "didn't you sign up for Weight Watchers online not too long ago?"    The answer is Yes I did....I was doing okay on it, and who knows what happened, stress hit, got tired and bored with always tracking every single bite of food, not finding what I have here and having to customize everything on the site, feeling like I just didn't fit in, feelings, feelings, feelings!!    I am my own worst enemy, I do well for a bit, then I think I can slack off and eat this or that, which I know.....will send me into a binge of craptastic food!!   Or, the dreaded, "it's just easier to hit the drive thru window then to figure out what everyone will and won't eat for supper so why bother cooking it", or there is always the, "just one burger, french fry, (insert bad food of the day here)....it won't hurt my diet, I'll be right back at it after this".   Yeah...right!!!   Fat chance and me getting fatter and fatter.  I officially have ZERO energy, no jeans that fit me, I am stuck wearing sweatpants/ yoga pants because they are the only thing I can find in my size right now.    I am frustrated, miserably uncomfortable, not sleeping well, and not making good choices, because frankly I have gotten to the point where I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel anymore....it has grown so small that it is barely a speck in the distance.    

I know only I can pull myself out of this giant ditch I am in.....(no sense in calling it a rut it is much bigger)!! LOL

Trying to find the right fit, the right combinations of foods to help me get some results fairly quickly, without starving, something that gives me energy, makes me look forward to the next day, is easy to prepare for each upcoming week, and is easy to follow on a daily basis.   yep..I am looking for a miracle here folks.    Do I think I have found it in the Clean Eating Diet?   Who knows, I bought a couple of  Tosca Reno's books for my Kindle which I intend to sit down and read this weekend.  I am hopeful that desperately looking for inspiration, something that speaks to me from within the pages, that says, "hey Melissa, you can do this for life, you can extend your life, make it better, get more of the things you desire, like, more energy, less fat and less stress on joints, back , knees, feet everything.    Something that speaks to me and shows me that I can help mold and change my children's way of eating for the rest of their lives.    

So I am forever hopeful that I will find these keys, tools and answers.   I want to have a Happy body, not a miserably sore, tired, fat, flabby, older than it's years body.   

I will update as soon as I can.   :)   Thanks for reading~!!!