The Holiday season is upon us!!

With Thanksgiving just a few days away, I have been reflecting on all the things that have happened so far this year.   So many things to be thankful for indeed.   Now that our life is finally getting to be OURS again, it is indeed something to celebrate.
The kids are growing and maturing.   In just one short month Shelby will be 18!!   I can't believe it.   I know I haven't been a perfect parent, but I hope that I have helped give her some tools that she can use and take with her when she does "launch" into a life on her own.    If not I guess she will learn the hard way as so many others have before her.  (Me included in some areas).
I look forward to our annual holiday party, (it's become a "tradition" in our house).   Never thought people would actually inquire about if we would be having it again.   :)   So excited that several people can't wait and tell us they wouldn't miss it!!    We have such wonderful friends and family!!!   I am Thankful for all of them as well as for our kids, our house, each other, what we have and dont' have....I am Thankful for it all.   We are happy, safe, comfortable, and humbled by the outpouring of love we get from those who love us.  


4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7

For the man I love!!

LOVE.....such a nice word isn't it?  


 We hear it from our kids, "I love you mom, dad" etc...  But what do we really know of love?   I know that I thought I knew what love was.  I guess from the time we are teens we  "think" we know what True Love is.  In fact we don't.  Although some find it early in their lives and get to have it for a lifetime.   Others, well, most of us only find it once.   Some never find it at all for various reasons.  To love someone and to open yourself up fully and to be completely vulnerable.   No walls, no boundaries, just raw and honest YOU!!    It is the most amazing thing I have discovered in my life thus far, besides the births of my 3 children!!


I have learned so much about myself in the past two years.   I have learned to be comfortable in my own skin.  I yearn for knowledge and information more than I ever did.   I now feel as if I can do anything I set my mind to and even if I fail or things don't turn out the way I thought when I began.  I succeeded in learning something!!    I am no longer put down for any flaw, failure, mistake or mishap.   Instead I am loved even more, encouraged to try again and move forward with no worry of repercussion or "not being loved anymore".    All of this love, compassion, respect, dignity, encouragement, comes from one person.   My husband J.R. Fikuart!!   He is my rock. My light in the darkest night.  My wishing star.  My lover and my best friend to whom I can tell anything.  He is not without his own flaws, as he would say, "We all have our little smells".  :)  But, he is selfless, understanding, caring, kind, forgiving, decent, upstanding, and pure joy shines from his smiling face.  

I truly believe I am the luckiest woman in the world to have such a special person in my life.  I am blessed beyond measure when it comes to my life as it is right now.  I am Thankful every second for this man coming into my life.     


Believe me, I could gush all day long and until everyone was screaming, "please stop" about my husband.  (yes I love saying the word "husband" ) lol 

I love you J.R. and I can't imagine life without you in it.  I truly believe I KNOW what true love is.  I live it everyday, every minute with you!!  
   



4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7

For Shelby

I wrote this for my wonderfully spirited daughter Shelby.  As my closest friends know we have had some struggles with her the past couple of years, and last Fall she was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)  "Emotional Intensity" as it is also referred to as.  Many, many hours of counseling, both individual and family based have been put in.   Shelby will be 18 next month, and seeing her navigate her Senior year of HS and trying to figure out "who" she is and "what career path" she wants to explore has been difficult for her as well as J.R. and I as her parents.   I have had so many feelings locked inside, so many questions, doubts, fears and worries.   I tried to purge them yesterday and this is what came out......

How do I hang on, when I feel like I am being pushed over a cliff.   

Feelings of heartache, betrayal and disappointment abound.   

One minute to trust, the next to have it stolen away in the blink of an eye.  To see your heart and know it is kind, but to see the devastation you leave behind.   

Loving families do not treat one another this way.  

Why must I live with the fear of the day you branch out on your own?   

I want to feel confident that you are safe, that you haven’t let someone in who will ultimately ruin you or worse.   

Parents worry for their children every minute, every day.   

I want so much to be able to trust, to let go just a little bit, to know.   

That you will be alright no matter how dark the night.  

I can’t be there to fix it, you have to work that out on your own.   

Be strong my child and know you are worth more than you think.  

Don’t beg, borrow or steal.  

Make your own way…be strong willed, non-judgmental, loving and a good friend.  

Do good things without hesitation, without compensation, with no expectations.   

Do not fret when things seem lost.  

Have Faith, breathe and just keep reaching.   

Reaching for answers, for tools to cope and adjust.  

Keep yourself safe my child, We all love you so much!!!  

\Making yourself happy day after day, can be a hard task.  

Keep yourself safe my child is what I ask.  

Safe from bandits, robbers, and thieves.  

Safe from lies you might tell to get what you please.  

Be honest…be Truthful…be loving….be confident.   

Loving another is what each of us craves, but at the end of the day we must love ourselves first.  

If we have no love for ourselves, then what is loving another worth?   

Saying the words doesn’t mean that you love, actions…honest and true are how that is done.  

It’s a struggle every day, but when both are healthy in mind, body , spirit.  

It can be done.  

Keep yourself safe my child, I love  you.  
Your journey begins.       

Shelby Jayne ~ Senior Year 2012 

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
I Corinthians 13:4-7

Crockpot pumpkin Oatmeal

Crockpot pumpkin oatmeal recipe 

I made a double batch and will keep it in the fridge to reheat for several days. The recipe below reflects the doubling. 

2 cup steel cut oats
6 cups water
1 15oz can real pumpkin puree
1/2 cup sliced almonds
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup raw honey (optional) *I also use Agave nectar to sweeten*
Pumpkin pie spice (as much as you like) * I don't measure lol*
1 tbsp extra cinnamon

Mix everything together in the crockpot, cook on low for about 5-6 hours or overnight. (if you like your oatmeal more creamy, cook for 7-8 hours) 

*you can add any nuts/dried fruits your family likes, I have also made it with apples and walnuts w/ apple pie spice. *

We serve it up with a splash of unsweetened vanilla almond milk on top. YUMMY