I have made a big decision in my life.....I made this decision for the good of me and my kids. I am leaving my husband. Wow..that is the first time I have actually typed it out like that...I have worded it differently etc, but never just came right out and said it. We have been married for 9 years the beginning they were happy years even when we had tough times we were still "connected" so to speak. But over the past few years things have slowly taken a turn...(as I have written in previous posts about). We have grown apart, we aren't on the same page in fact we are in totally different books!! I have tried and tried to talk to him about needs, wants desires in life. To only get a blank stare back at me. Or to be told that it is all in my head. Well obviously there is an issue whether it is "only in my head" or not. I Feel this way and he can't even validate that I am having these feelings for whatever reason that may be. I have always tried to be open and let him know how I feel. When I do this he shuts down, gets defensive and/or walks away. I have come right out and told him that I am not happy. I have told him some things that have attributed to me having these feelings and again I get him becoming defensive, and walking away telling me "you do your thing and I will do mine" !! Well guess what? That doesn't make a marriage, a partnership or even good friends. When I asked if he still loved me....his reply was (first a big pause as if he had to think long and hard about it) *red flag number one* and 2nd was he said..."I don't like you very much". I think that finally set my mind to considering leaving. I also asked if he wanted me to leave and find someplace for me our kids to live.....to which I got no reply...just staring into space and ignoring me, tears and all. So it is with a heavy but hopeful heart that I am going to find someplace to live for me and the kids.....I have to make them and myself happy again. I know they feel and sense the stress and for me that is not acceptable anymore. I want and need more in a relationship. So the honeymoon is over but Life Still Goes ON!! I will pull myself up and make it work for us. I will make a good life for me and my children. I can no longer feel like I have to be responsible for anyone elses happiness. So goes our Life In the Silly Lane.